This past month, I've been reflecting on the idea of patience. It is not something that comes naturally to me. However, as I continue to see, patience plays a big role in faith and in any sort of significant change in the lives of others. In Guatemala, something I hear a lot is "Que sea lo que Dios quiera" which roughly translates to "That what God wants will be." In other words, be patient for the Lord is working. I can be working too, but without patience, I can only expect to feel frustration.
Over the past five years, I've had to be patient. When I was 18, I was offered a job in Guatemala City at an elementary school and I was prepared to take it. However, my parents asked me to be patient and to finish college first. Sound advice, but difficult to live out. My patience translated into a hurried college experience, frustration with my divided life, and plane tickets to Guatemala whenever possible. However, it also brought me security: in my education, in my career, but most importantly in the knowledge that what I felt about staying in Guatemala, about living in Guatemala, was not an 18 year old's whim. My patience allowed me to know, fully and intimately, that what I wanted was true and real. When I returned to Guatemala last year as a college graduate, I had complete faith that this was the right step. What a gift to have as a young adult: security and faith.
I've also had to train myself to practice patience in my professional life. Because of the nature of non profit work and the dedication to a mission of changing lives, it's easy to fall into the trap of giving your all 24/7 and expecting perfection. Expecting immediate change in structure, in harmful behavior, in
people. I have had to learn how to prioritize a healthy work life balance, which meant being patient during the weekend. It meant not stressing, not planning, not perfecting during two full days of the week. I struggled to understand that I had to wait, I had to rest, I had to give myself a life and an identity outside of my work. Especially when my time here was limited, be that by college, COVID, or family, I wanted to make every moment productive, engaging, exciting. It's been a consistent challenge for me, but I am finding myself settling into a routine of work and rest.
Now I've been holding patience close to my heart during work hours. Not just in interactions with my colleagues, but with myself. Being patient if something doesn't work out the first time. Being patient if something is canceled due to COVID. Being patient if I make a mistake. I'm learning to hold more space for myself to be complex and complicated, that it's okay for me not to be 100% [insert adjective here] all the time. Practicing patience is hard, but I'm noticing less tension in my shoulder, less stress headaches on the way home.
But I've also seen the reward for patience in the lives of others, and that is where I feel my faith grow. I see the rewards of patience in the life of E, a teenage I brought to a pregnancy workshop 4 years ago. I knew E as a scared mother to be who wasn't sure about her relationship and was upset about the changes that were to come for her future. Now, four years later, E is a strong independent mother to little S. She continues to come to our activities, she brings other young mothers to our program, she makes sure that her son S has a community. In her story, I see the power of patience. How was she to know how great a mother she could be? How was she to know that she would be able to achieve so much? How was I to know that bringing her to that first workshop really did give her a family when she needed it? Through patience, and time and effort of course, both she and I are able to see that good things do await us, and that our work does pay off.
I've seen the power of patience in the lives of young couples who decide to wait to start a family until they are financially stable. I've seen the power of patience through consistent conversations with young men about menstruation that result in the creation of young allies. I've seen the power of patience in mothers, children, teenagers, whole families. Being patient gives people the room they need to grow.
Of course, patience is only fruitful when the work continues and the work is done well. When my friends here tell me "Que sea lo que Dios quiera," I say yes, and also we must keep working too. What God wants in our world is possible through Christ, but requires our hands and our feet to be made reality. I will keep working. I will keep believing. I will practice patience.
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